I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Is Oprah even human
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
