If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
