he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
