he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
