smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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