marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
