I never want to see another naked old woman again.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
