You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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