what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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