and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
