can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
