I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
