so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
