i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
they're like a gay fantastic four
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
