I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize