yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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