I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
