Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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