I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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