There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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