she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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