Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
