I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
