i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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