You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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