my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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