i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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