i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize