She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If I had your ass I would rule the world
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
