You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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