I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
