take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
