I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
