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I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
