He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
