It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
