Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
