Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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