i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
