i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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