The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
