Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
