you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
