I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
