Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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