Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
