are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
