I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
