Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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