Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
