I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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