im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
