My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
