If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I will pee on everything he values.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
