Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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