This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
