i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize