She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Randomize