I just saw a hot homeless man
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
