Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
