it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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