That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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