OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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