she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
