We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
