So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
