OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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