worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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