kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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