CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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