At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize