so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
