I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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